The day I stopped taking a Private Bus

Just as I was relieved with the judgment of the Delhi Rape case,the TV screens in the canteen flash off the Rape of a 31 year old woman who is a mother of a 6 year old brutally molested,mutilated and killed.There just isnt a single day in the newspapers that is free of sexual harassments. The number of cases only have doubled from 2012 in India.And every girl who independently steps out of her house to earn a living or to study to build a career of her dreams continues to live in Fear.And so does her family who have managed to bring her into this world and have shown her to dream just like any other boy in the country would.

         I was so shattered and scared by the Delhi Incident that I stopped taking the private bus from Silk board which is en route my way home from office.I just dont take them anymore and may be are the other woman equally scared who only prefer the BMTC(The Bangalore's Metropolitan Transport Corporation) waiting only for it.And now today's case of brutality was in an auto...So do we all now stop taking autos as well??? What will a Regular Employee like me who is an ameteur with her 4 wheeler driving and works far off to commute with a two wheeler do in a Metro city if not for an auto to cover petty distances or late night accessibility???Its just not a simple problem of transportation or Logistics ...Its a problem of fear,uncertainity and Insecurity that haunts us woman because of such brutal ruthless incidents.And where does this brutality come from??4-6 people pouncing on a single human body like rare wolves is not fun !!!Its heights of Insanity,Immorality and Inhumanity.And to add on, they get the audacity to take away lives of women in split seconds.It builds in a sense of doubt in a woman to trust any person -Good or Bad at that late hour.A stranger means an alarm !!!We talk on a regular basis about how safe is India or how safe women of India are...But do we really care about making India safer unless its a sister,mother or daughter or friend that is in trouble...No we dont.

  I read in the newspaper that women with software tags are more prone to incidents like these because the so called "software Culture" allows unethical treatment and I was taken aback.Do we all see such allowable candidates in our house or workplace?I am sure a majority of women from today's generation hold these tags.It doesnt make them prone.It only shows that they have the caliber and intellect to raise their head high and work equally hard (as men) towards their goals.Its a fact to be proud of and not to be scared.But the recent incidents unfortunately reverse this situation.

     Little Flowers of ages 12 onwards or even less are subjects to such hideous crimes on a very regular basis and I see no end to this....And those bastards are everywhere around leading normal lives as if they are just not guilty.

As much as I hate the foul verbatim and keep advicing my friends and younger cousins at home against usage of such words,I now feel may be I should have got trained with those "Gaalis" specially to address such people.And the sad part is that we women are finger pointed after all this - be it the way we dress or the way we address.Coming from conservative telugu Brahmin family,I always went and came back from college with a salwar and a 3 pin dupatta and head always bent down.But that never got me rid of the eve teasers in the small town that I studied and the stories of my sister who studied in a metro are even worse.So where does the logic that the girl or her behavior provocate such demons apply??Or will a 10 or a 12 year old innocent girl understand what is provocating??Its a mere character assassination of the girl (jus as in Aarushi's case)done so as to protect the guilty due to reasons of power,money or politics.Ironically Tehelka.com came up with the below 5 reasons why women in India arent safe!!(Well...may be firstly Tehelka should stop hiring people like Tarun Tejpal to start with)

http://www.tehelka.com/five-reasons-why-women-are-still-not-safe-in-india/

  The crime based shows boost their TRPs with more and more of real and fictional content and the journalists talk hours together about criminals and their acts of sin become cover stories atleast for a week minimum but the focal point of CRIME is not talked about.The cover story creates a lot of hype,curiosity and after a while...its simply forgotten.Its only and only the loss of the victim and their Family and friends but who cares??We have all such busy lives to lead and are very busy to become more and more self centered.In a generation where an app has more popularity than a human life at stake,why even bother!!!!

  The more this insensitivity and indifference towards such incidents by the Indian public,the higher will be the crime rate and there will soon be a day where the ratio of women to men would be so less like in the film Matrubhumi(The tag line says-A Nation without Women) where Tulip Joshi gets married to five men.And what do we do with such a nation that has no prosperity,no growth or no Virtue!!!I just put in a sneak peak of the movie here.Its an old one and I am sure youtube has parts of the movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ399QfSwP8
Its a very strange thing that a woman who is constantly a part of a man's life in her various roles as a mother,sister,teacher,friend,wife,daughter is deprived of the respect she deserves from the society.Forget about Respect,she isnt even treated a human just a mere toy!!! As much as I respect the men who sensitize with us and React on such incidents,it is to those that dont, that I would like to say - We are no toys ,We are just as much beautiful creatures of God born with equal abilities,virtues and capabilities.And so we deserve to grow,Work towards our goals,passions,we deserve to be happy to create happy families that will foster a happy world.We Deserve to be safe....We Deserve to LIVE ....Happily ever after !!!!

Unleashing Judgments - Begets Unconditional Love

LOVE -WE seek it,want it,need it.Yet,it eludes so many of us - if...its a feeling of genuine heart felt unconditional love.

Love seems to come in precious moments that we can’t seem to grasp before time and our busy lives takes its toll. We forget or overlook or even take for granted those precious moments in our rush for building a better future.But is not present more beautiful than past or future??

we must love ourselves first before we can love another. It requires something so simple, yet difficult in practice: letting go of making ourselves, and others, wrong.

When WE make someone else wrong, WE hold the energy of needing to correct, convince, control ,or change someone else Someone should “be or do” the way you expect.Blaming, complaining, or condemning becomes acceptable.

On the other hand,When we make ourselves wrong, we hold thoughts of how one should be, and end up feeling not good enough. We now see ourselves and others as objects or problems that need to be fixed.So.....why not rise above the feeling of judging or begrudging someone or fall prey to getting judged??

Statistics say that the uncanny ability to not complain or find faults with anything makes a woman highly productive and my mom is one best example.

Things happen for a reason and so do people reject or accept us for a reason but the bigger picture will fall into place once we start loving ourselves unconditionally. There is judgment everywhere- within family,at work,in social circles -Right and wrong,good and bad.I learnt that happiness is a changing state of being, and love can be experienced on many different levels.

Many believe love is putting up with, sacrificing, tolerating, or suffering in silence thinking their commitment is proof of their love. This is not love.I think,Understanding, seeing, hearing, and accepting someone for who they are is love.

When you make someone wrong, there’s a value you hold being stepped on. But in fact,its just someone else’s perception of truth.

                                             

Someone not living up to our value of “hard work” may be judged as “lazy.” Someone who does not follow our idea of “giving” we may judge as “selfish.” Someone we judge as “inconsiderate” is not acting in a way we see as “kindness.”

Can we sit and understand for a minute how it feels when others project their values onto us ??? The question is not whether someone is right or wrong, but whether the words and actions are coming from the spectrum of fear on one side or love on the other.Noticing intentions ,understanding and appreciating it is something a good friend of mine taught me.

I wanted to write this so that all those people that dwell into destructive consequences on being judged understand a little and all those girls/guys who prospectively fall into this matrimonial journey of constantly being judged feel better.

We might sooner or later realize with time that the person we tagged "ugly or boisterous" is actually good and kind and we might also feel sorry for coming to conclusions but we must have missed a beautiful chance to know a person or may be become a good friend.

There is a beauty to everything in nature and there is a story to every person as to why they are or they behave in a certain way...It just needs compassion and patience to understand this.A shift from self based ego and fear towards love and acceptance is tough but it indeed is possible to bring out the positive best in us.Just that our positive best may not be someone else's best...But does that really matter???

Celebrating the YOU in U

Just as I got back to blogging I realized the positivity life has been lacking...In me, in people around at work and in my family. So I started off with this piece that occurred out of mind from some swaying thoughts somewhere n it actually took shape when a good fren of mine encouraged reading an old post of mine...

This is specially to all those women who get so busy wid their lives and responsibilities that they forget to TREAT THEMSELVES well...Treating is an abstract word in todays world and it immediately strikes chord with our routine pampering sessions like going to a parlor or a spa...But wait...Is that all that will help??We are stressed out wid problems so we just take an hour and visit a parlor feel relaxed and get back to being busy bees again. Does this suffice and bring a permanent "I conquered world" smile on our faces??No it doesn't...It gives a temporary stop gap remedy and takes minds off the problem but does not give a solution. Most of the times, the solution lies within ourselves .We just don't treat ourselves well enough to understand our self worth and under estimate our ability to actually find solution to our problems from within.

I am not saying to be an arrogant,'I know all person' who confines and deals with his problems hook or crook. Its always good to take advice and wisdom is wealth, but then...We only ultimately decide...And I feel, its then that this self worth realization helps.

To celebrate oneself we really don't have to spend lots of money visiting places. Its just enough to understand what is it that really makes us happy. What is it that we actually want. This sentence reminds me of my mom who gets irritated with me and asks me this. To add on to her irritation I simply smile...:)Every one must have gone through this phase of do I really want this from life.. May be we don't have clarity earlier but when the situation comes, we sure can answer if or not we want that.

Life is too small to be way far busy that we have no time to do what we like. But its way far too big to accommodate the small little things that make us happy. I only want to say to all those who have become so busy that they say they have no time for themselves to stop for a while and do something for once for their own good. It will soon become a habit to treat themselves well. It may be a small thing like reading book which they stopped years back , attending a charity function that they ignored earlier, watching an old film that was once an al time favorite but the CD now got dusted, but just do it for once...It will soon realize its form and you will see that you are celebrating U-Because you are worth it, because you deserve it and because you need it.

My all time favorite Oprah says - The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more it is in Life to celebrate...Lets just celebrate all happy timings we share-all birthdays, anniversaries and any feel good occasions that pass by...why jus occasions we could celebrate anything and everything, we could celebrate life in itself...

My dumb mind came up with some empowering ideas that I would like to suggest ...

Jump up and down and shout, “(your first name), you are so amazing and perfect.”(My first name is too big and complicated...so I ll jus shout my name :))

Throw a party in your honor and invite your closest friends.  Have your friends share why they feel you are a beautiful child of God.(I  can imagine this wid my frens n I already started laughing)

Sing a song about how amazing you are.  Just make up the words and lyrics as you go.(This is hilarious cos I know what my song will have...but u can try urs)

Take a day off and declare it your own day to celebrate you. Spend the entire day doing what you truly and deeply want to do.  Eat ice cream, walk in the park, read a book, go dancing, etc…(I will make sure my manager is not reading this...Pun unintended :))

So on a lighter note...hoping my mom will start taking up French class which she always wanted and my best fren takes out time to call all of us which she always enjoys...I end the blog note...

To all my frenz...Read this n let me know if my crappy words of wisdom can keep goin :)